The Elf Blog

Physics and Procrastination

Those of you who know me know that I am a huge fan of The Big Bang Theory. It got me thinking, what can physics teach us about procrastination?

Newton’s Laws apply. An object in motion will stay in motion. An object at rest will stay at rest. So, the greatest danger in trying to accomplish a series of tasks is breaking your momentum. If you keep rolling, you’ll be able to finish, probably very quickly. But if you sit down to rest “just for a few seconds,” it’s over. Inertia takes over. You’ll find reason after reason to put off what you know you need to do.

Gravity wins. If you leave things in piles rather than putting them away, their gravitational field will start attracting more stuff, helping the pile grow ever larger and making you delay dealing with it longer, allowing it to grow larger. You see where this is going. My personal experiments have confirmed this effect in dirty dishes. craft suplies, paperwork, and laundry.

Finally, the theory of relatively comes into play. The time spent trying to avoid doing a task is relatively longer than the time it would actually take to complete the task, but it doesn’t seem so from your perspective. I blame Einstein.

Why Holiday Planning Scares Us: Part 3

Today I’ll look at the final major reason that I think folks are intimidated by celebrating the holidays.

Over the last few years, the number of “lifestyle” magazines, books, and television shows has grown exponentially. There are entire channels dedicated to home improvement, cooking, and lifestyle. Craft books are a growth genre in the publishing world.

While these are excellent resources (I learn a lot from them myself), they do create unrealistic expectations.

People feel like they’ve failed because they don’t have a perfectly set table with the perfect meal in the perfect house with the perfect family. Why bother putting thought into a gift if you don’t have time to handcraft your wrapping paper and gift tags? Why bother hosting a party if you don’t have matching serving trays for the hors d’ouevres? Why bake Christmas cookies if you don’t hand paint the frosting in perfectly rendered forms?

As much as I love watching these shows, I’ll be honest: There are less real than Kim Kardashian’s wedding! These shows (and the books and magazines) have large staffs, including specialists in each area (décor, cooking, various crafts, etc.). No one person is an expert in all these areas.

They also have far larger budgets than real people are ever likely to have. Who among us can afford to purchase a dozen turkeys so that only the prettiest is photographed for the magaizine cover? (And who would tolerate that waste even if we could afford it?)

Holding ourselves to unrealistic standards is the surest recipe for disappointment and it fuels the desire to avoid holiday preparations.

So here are your marching orders: Celebrate with the people you love. Do your best with what you have (both skills and goods). Remember, the point is to enjoy spending time with people – not to get ratings or newsstand sales. In truth, the mistakes and disasters will be the stories the family recounts for generations. Just celebrate – and let the chips (or the decorations) fall where they may.

Cooking Shows

Because of my ankle injury, I've been spending more time on the couch watching tv than I normally would, especially on weekdays. 

I have made an important discovery:  There are a LOT of cooking shows on tv.  I want to call out two good ones and one bad from the batch I watched last week.

On the good side, there's any cooking show that stars Jamie Oliver.  Yes, it's hard to identify with him when he's cooking in his outdoor oven and his recipes are anything but low cal, but the recipes tend to be clear and relatively simple.  He explains things well and he uses tons of wonderful fresh ingredients, really focusing on using fresh vegetables. When he's done, just looking at the food makes you hungry.

Also, I caught a few episodes of Mad Hungry with Lucinda, a new program from Martha Stewart Omnimedia.  Lucinda is actually the food editor for Martha Stewart Living.  What I like about her is that, in her real life, she cooks for a family.  That means her recipes tend to be for things that families will eat.  And she has ideas of how to get the family involved in the preparation. Very practical and tasty, yet interesting twists.  She's well worth a watch.

On the bad side, there's Sandra Lee.  Why does she have a show?  In most ways, she's the worst of all possible worlds.  The things she presents are as unhealthy as most fast foods (based as they are on heavily processed products), yet they still suck up significant amounts of time.  Why would you dedicate blocs of time to preparing food and then use no fresh ingredients?  Wouldn't it just be faster to hit the drive-thru?

Any cooking shows you'd like to recommend?

A Tiny Rant

I was watching the American Idol Finale last night. (It's been a disappointing reality season.)  One thought remains in my mind:

Whatever happened to good grooming?

Is it really that challenging to bathe, comb your hair, wear clothing that fits and is appropriate to the occasion? 

I don't go to the gym in heels and I don't come to the office in workout clothes.  But, in all cases, I at least start out in a presentable fashion.  (After a session in the gym, all bets are off!)

Summer fashions, even in most office environments are less formal.  But informal doesn't mean sloppy.  At least it shouldn't.

Rant over.

Oscar Fashion Roundup 2010

Welcome one and all to the 15^th Annual Elf Oscar Fashion Roundup!  (Fifteen years I’ve been doing this?  Wow, when I started, Steve Martin was still funny.) For those who are new to the roundup, here are the ground rules.  I don’t comment on who should or should not have won.  I focus on attire, glamour, and graciousness.  I do not watch any of the fashion shows before writing this recap.  I only watch the ABC red carpet show and the Oscars themselves.  I do have the assistance of an adult beverage.  This year, I selected an excellent Austrian red – since most of the awards were free of surprises, I thought I’d add a little excitement.  A decent little wine, strong clove overtones.

 

Before we begin, some general comments:

 

May I begin by saying how happy I was to see the crystal curtain back this year.  I do love me some sparkle.

 

I do not love me some Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin as hosts.  What a terrible waste of time they were.  Oddly enough, trying to be funny never is.

 

Speaking of wastes of time, Neil Patrick Harris in a sequined tuxedo?  Singing a slightly off color song?  With showgirls?  Seriously?  Did I take a wrong turn and hit the first show at the Sands?  I hope I didn’t skip out on the two drink minimum.

 

The tribute to horror films scared my dog.  That is inexcusable.

 

I was disappointed in the dance montage for the original scores and no performance of the nominated songs.  I always enjoy the song performances (sometimes for the curious fashion choices).  They often introduce me to lovely songs I wouldn’t have heard otherwise. (“Falling Slowly” being Exhibit A.)  In light of the Saints’ Super Bowl victory and The Princess and the Frog, I expected a fabulous New Orleans number.  I feel cheated.

 

Adam Shankman should stick to So You Think You Can Dance.  The flow of this show was very off. Three hours and thirty-two minutes (plus 5 full minutes of credits) and Tom Hanks didn’t have time to read all the nominees for Best Picture. 

 

You can take Harold Wheeler with you and drop him off at Dancing with the Stars.  When you notice the background music, the musical director and the conductor have failed.  And I Am Woman as Kathryn Bigelow was leaving the stage?  Someone went to Obvious School.

 

As always, the In Memoriam segment reminds me of the great talent no longer in our midst.

 

For many years, I railed against droopy booby syndrome.  Now, it seems as though the problem has migrated north.  What is with all the young actresses slouching?  I can’t remember when I last saw so many rounded shoulders.  These are beautiful graceful women.  Why are they slouching like orangutans instead of gliding like swans?  In many cases (Miley, Rachel, Kristin), the slouch ruined the line of an otherwise lovely gown.

 

I know the economy is still bad.  Is that why so many gowns were tragically incomplete?  Or was Naomi Watts executive stylist? Carey Mulligan, Zoe Saldana, and Demi Moore were missing the fronts of their skirts.  Three-quarter sleeves I get.  Three-quarters of a skirt, not so much.  And I don’t want to think about the view when you sit.

 

Well, at least now I know why so many women had flat and/or flyaway hair: there was no hair product left in California after Zac Efron finished getting ready.  I wanted someone to tap his head with an Oscar just to see which would break: the hair or the Oscar.

 

Is it just me or does Woody Harrelson never age?  I saw a Cheers rerun last week and I swear he looks the same today.

 

Stanley Tucci, I love you dearly, but please lose the beard.

 

A special tribute to women who wear more than size 4 and yet dressed with style: Queen Latifah, Mindy Hall, Gabourey Sidibe, Oprah Winfrey, Kathy Bates.

 

I do love Jeff Bridges and he gave such a wonderful heartfelt speech.  But I would love to see him clean shaven again.  He has such a lovely jawline.  Why hide a national treasure?

 

Yay for the Milton Hershey School commercial!

 

It was great to see a woman finally recognized as best director – after only 81 years!  Kathryn Bigelow was gracious and classy and delightfully flummoxed.

 

Less delightfully flummoxed was Sean Penn.  Was it just me or did he seem perhaps chemically altered?

 

I must say that James Cameron was very classy during the ceremony.  (He can always go home and roll around naked in his money.)  Of course, the sheer joy of the Hurt Locker crew was hard to resist.  Is there anything as exhilarating to watch?

 

For next year’s Oscars, I volunteer to stand at the door and de-hat anyone who tries to wear a beret into the theatre – Samuel L. Jackson, Sandy Powell, and makeup guy.

 

I am increasingly concerned about the jewelry disparity that afflicts Oscar.  Rachel MacAdam was wearing earrings big enough to disrupt cell signals and Carey Mulligan’s earrings were taller than Ryan Seacrest.  Yet Cameron Diaz had no necklace to complete her golden ensemble and Mo’Nique had to put a flower in her updo for lack of a glittery comb. 

 

And now, on to this year’s awards:

 

Best Dressed Men:

 

Honorable Mention:

A group award to all of the young actors who are starting their careers off right by learning how to dress with simplicity and elegance, particularly Taylor Lautner, Chris Pine, and Ryan Reynolds.

 

T. Bone Burnett:  The long coat was the perfect touch!

 

Third Place:

George Clooney: He would have ranked higher but he seemed cranky most of the night. Also, I’m not yet sold on the longer hair.

 

Keanu Reeves: Who would’ve thought that Ted would grow up into such a stylish man.  Be excellent to each other.

 

Second Place:

Forest Whitaker: Few men on the planet can wear a tux as well as he does.  And he does it with such comfort and grace.  The epitome of elegance and class.

 

Christopher Plummer:  My, he’s aged well.  Somewhere in his youth or childhood, he must have done something good.

 

First Place:

Colin Firth:  He gets bonus points for not applauding his own nomination.  A man at home in a horrid reindeer jumper, a caped greatcoat, or a classic tux.  Living proof that clothes don’t make the man.  When the man is gracious and elegant, the clothes cannot but help to follow.

 

Best Dressed Women:

 

Honorable Mention:

Helen Mirren:  Somehow she always manages age appropriate elegance in a color utterly suited to her.  For next year, she needs to mug Zac Efron for his spare hairspray (you KNOW he carries it) so that her updo stays up all night.

 

Third Place:

Meryl Streep: Draped in elegant white with a crown of golden hair.  Angelic and gracious.  Brava, prima donna del cinema.

 

Julianne Moore:  On a woman so fair, white is usually a bad choice, but it made you seem to glow from within – a rose alabaster goddess come to life.

 

Second Place:

Kate Winslett:  Perfect hair.  Gorgeous jewels.  Glowing skin.  And a gown of silvery shimmer.  Truly, a star has fallen from the sky and dances on earth.

 

Jennifer Lopez:  Wrapped in a glittery cloud.  An ethereal vision of elegance.

 

First Place:  

Penelope Cruz: Year after year she highlights her astonishing beauty with perfect hair, jewelry, and clothes.  She keeps getting nominated because she shows the same care in choosing her roles.  Strapless wine-colored silk.  A vintage meant to be savored.

 

Worst Dressed Men:

 

Honorable Mention:

Robin Williams and John Travolta:  The all-black ensembles don’t hide the fact that you are both well past your sell-by date.

 

Third Place:

Robert Downey, Jr.: The tux itself was fine, but the tie matches the glasses?  Really? Or was that just a bizarre tribute to Avatar?

 

Second Place:

Ben Stiller: Yes, I know it was a set piece, but still. Did you draw the short straw at rehearsal?  After his masquerade as Joaquin Phoenix at last year’s show, I’m getting the idea that Ben’s the guy they go to when they want someone willing to make a fool of himself.  He has so much talent, I hate to see him sell himself so cheaply. 

 

First Place:

Quentin Tarantino:  I have no idea how this man can put on a couture tux and still look like he’s on his way to high school detention.  I know he’s going for the too cool to care vibe, but dude, you’ve been a judge on American Idol (twice!).  Cool has left the building.

 

Worst Dressed Women:

 

Honorable Mention:

Miley Cyrus:  Though I still don’t understand why she was there, I thought it was sweet that she stopped by on her way to prom.  But why didn’t her prom date get her a corsage?  (You know he spent the flower money on a post-prom hotel room and her daddy – and Disney – won’t like that!)

 

Sandra Bullock: I loved the warmth of that color and the lace was a crowning touch, but the shape was very unfortunate. Why do you want to make an hourglass out of your bottom half?

 

Molly Ringwald:  She seemed very uncomfortable onstage.  Perhaps because her dress had no shape and her bracelet matched her belt!

 

Third Place:

Charlize Theron:  Loved the hair.  Loved the dress color.  Did not love the fabric roses twined about your breasts.  Trust me, Charlize, there isn’t a man in America who can’t find them without assistance.  (And if they have trouble, in this one case, they’ll ask directions.)

 

Anna Kendrick:  The cut of the dress wasn’t bad, but the color made you disappear in the lights.  And the dowdy hair made me want you to disappear.

 

Second Place:

Sarah Jessica Parker: Would someone please feed this woman?  I have seen valet stands with more curves.  She looked like she was wearing upholstery fabric, but someone forgot the padding.  Of course, all the padding must have gone into the hairdo, sort of Princess Leia on steroids.

 

First Place:

Barbra Streisand:  Oh, the way you were dressed.  Shapeless and dreary with enough frothy lace to trim a comforter.  Whatever made you decide to shop for your Oscar dress at Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s garage sale?

 

That’s all for this year!  See you at the movies!

 

Celebrating with the Canadians

I watched the women's hockey gold medal game at the Canadian Embassy last night.  It was a lovely event.  They had many people checking guests in and guiding them through security.  There were several televisions, mostly large screen, set up to receive the CTV feed.  There were regularly replenished food tables (one set up for each major viewing area) with pizza, vegetables, (bob)sliders, and poutines, plus soda, beer, and wine to drink.

The guests were great fun and extremely happy when Canada won.

Some important takeaways for your home entertaining:

1) It's very important to welcome people, show them wear to put their coats, and bring them in to the activity.

2) Have multiple places to get food so that you don't cause traffic jams in your floor plan.

3)  Provide food that's easy to eat while you stand and talk, and replenish food regularly.

4) Keep some distance between food and beverage setups so that the growd can flow.

5) Having plenty of trash and recycling bins makes everything easier.

6) A friendly manner makes all the difference!

Being a Guest

As important as it is to be a welcoming hospitable host, it's equally important to be a good guest.

Tonight, I will be a guest at a hockey watching party hosted by the Embassy of Canada.  they have big screens set up and food and drink available for the neighborhood to come and watch the women's gold medal game.

I'll report back tomorrow on what I learned about being a guest!

The Olympics Begin

The Winter Olympics begin tonight with the Opening Ceremonies from Vancouver, Canada.  It's a great night to invite a few friends over to eat soup or casserole or chili or pizza and watch the festivities.  You could have a watching party on one of the other big competitition days, depending on what you like to watch.  The coverage will be virtually wall-to-wall, so there will be something for everyone. 

Super Bowl Party

The Super Bowl is Sunday, February 7th.  Basically, it's an all-day event.  If you are hosting a party, here are some tips:

• Since it's really a day long event, you'll want foods that don't need much tending.  Think snack foods like chips, pretzels, and sandwiches or food that can simmer in a slow cooker, like chili, red beans and rice, jambalaya, or pork barbecue.  If you are hosting a big group, you may want to borrow a few extra slow cookers to make things easier.
• Make sure you have plenty of beverages.  In honor of the Saints, you might want to have hurricanes.  Take your cue from stadiums and stop serving alcoholic beverages when the fourth quarter begins.
• If you have guests and more than one bathroom in your house, try to make at least 2 bathrooms available to guests.  Everyone will want to use them at the same time and you want to limit lines.
• Good television sightlines are critical.  Arrange your seating so everyone has a good view.

If you don't care about the game, host an alternative party.  You can craft or watch movies or watch my personal favorite -- THE PUPPY BOWL!!!!!!

Must See TV

I don't usually use this blog to promote specific television programs, but last night I watched a winner:  Prep and Landing on ABC. 

It was clever, funny, and totally family friendly.  It explains how elves help Santa make all his stops on Christmas Eve!

ABC will be replaying it next Wednesday, December 16th, at 8:00 pm EST.  Set your DVR now!